If you’re ordinary and you love seizure inducing Malaysian music, I’ve just a place for you. Tell us that one place that ordinary tourist might enjoy. Minister Farrakhan will be there.Ĭolin Jost: Fine. Leprechaun’s that look like Farah Fawcett. Be sure to hit the dance floor and do a jig with Ireland’s hottest Farrakhans. This gang ridden skateboard park was the ceremony spot for Vern Troyer’s twothousandfour wedding. New York’s hottest Irish club is “Off the church, mother.” Located in the clogged heart of the Bronx at the corner of threethousand street and Gary Marshall Memorial Drive. Stefon: If you’re Irish or just white and violent, I have a St. And they might be looking for something a little different. I think a lot of people are in town for St. Stefon: So you can pretend it’s Bruce Springsteen’s hand.Ĭolin Jost: Stefon, let’s get back on track. Stefon: Well, it’s when you sit on Billy Joel’s hand until it’s numb and then you rub yourself with it.Ĭolin Jost: Wait, why does it have to be numb? Stefon: Do you know that Billy Joel song, The Stranger? Plus, you can play everyone’s favorite party game, the stranger. Death sets, key fobs, kale chips, Roman J. Like, when Larry King would play himself in a movie. It is former CVS which became a chase bank and then became a CVS again, has a familiar yet troubling feel. If you’re drunk in midtown doing cheap coke off your laundry card, I have just the place for you. So, the parade is now over? I bet a lot of people out there are looking for a great New York hangout? Do you have any recommendations? Stefon: Conor, Persie, it’s nice to be here.Ĭolin Jost: Thank you, Stefon. Thank you so much for joining us, Stefon. Here with some tips on what to check out is out Weekend Update’s city correspondant, Stefon.Ĭolin Jost: Hi. Patrick’s day which means millions of tourists have come to the Big Apple.
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We go there now.Ĭo-Op President: Yeah, can we get a, uh, body removal? We have an elderly dead body.Īuthor Caroline Wall Posted on AugCategories 2011 Tags 2011, Bill Hader, Emma Stone, Herb Welch, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Nasim Pedrad Leave a comment on Herb Welch: Falling Ice Weekend Update StefonĬolin Jost: And today is St. Jack: - had been in ill health for some time. Herb, seen here with his protégé Andy Rooney.
We’ve just received word that our own Herb Welch died five seconds ago. Up next, Occupy Wall Street enters its third month. Jack: As always, we apologize to you in the Hispanic and unattractive communities. Herb: You talk to me like that again, I’ll have my secretary Amilda fire off a memo. Jack: Well, you know, Herb, maybe it’s time you look into retirement. There’s always a life in the church.Ĭo-Op President: Dinosaur. Tell me, sir - how’s a fellow like you fit into all this? Radio, this is Private Herbie Welch reminding you to keep your socks dry. She even sent me a memo telling us not to speak with reporters.Ĭo-Op President: My god, that is slander! I’ve done nothing of the sort! And she has repeatedly ignored our requests. Now ask the question.Ĭynthia: Look, our co-op president is right over there. Herb: Shouldn’t you be changing hotel linens somewhere? Herb, have residents lodged a formal complaint with the co-op board? Herb: You think this Belafonte kid oughta, you know, pipe down? It’s only a matter of time before someone’s hurt, or worse. Who’s injured? Ĭynthia: No one, thank God.
You know, ask your source if anyone’s been injured, or something like that. You call it a bikini, but I call it too far. Look, this ice is dangerous, and no one is doing anything about it. And I was almost hit on my way to work.Ĭynthia: No. Alright, what happened?Ĭynthia: Ever since the storm, melting icicles have been falling onto the street. I’m asking - how are the residents of that building?Ĭynthia: My name is Cynthia Coralina Ronowitz. service to a Spanish mass, so I’m not doing too well. Jack: Now, tell us, Herb, what is the mood where you are? Veteran reporter Herb Welch, who is celebrating his 71st year with the station, is on the scene. Jack: Our top story today - residents in an Upper East Side co-op are outraged this morning after management failed to remove dangerous falling ice from the outside of the building. Announcer: You’re watching WXPD News, New York.
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